Shattering Stories

Wow! Two posts in one day. That's a record. I really wanted to share this poem. I wrote this in the same workshop as the last one. Once again, excuse the darkness.

I want to remember
when shame
was only in stories.
I want to remember
a time
when pain
meant only losing a crayon.
I want to forget
when shame
ripped apart your heart
and shattered your reflection,
I want to forget
a time
when pain
meant only a sharp stinging line.

I want to remember
when friendship was easy.
Hello meant hello.
And goodbye meant tomorrow.
I want to remember
a moment when
all joy was real.
Always alive,
but never dead.
I want to forget
when friendship was hell.
Loves was an enemy.
A word ends a life.
I want to forget
a moment when
smiles were a mask.
A cover to hide.

I want to remember.
I want to forget.
But no on will ever
fix the scars on a wrist.

Ending Twilight

So this is a poem I wrote during a writing workshop I took at school. It's a little dark, but oh well (excuse the depressing-ness of the poem). Constructive criticism would be appreciated.

Now is the season

for faith to break.

Now is the season

for one to wait.

Light from a window

makes shadows a like.

All minds are kept quiet

until twilight.

Now is the season

for trust to dispair.

Now is the season

for souls to tear.

The desert is freezing.

She walks alone,

Reflections don't match

a soft screaming tone.

Now is the season

for smiles to lie.

Now is the season

for cuts to dry.

Chimes cut through the mist

with a razor-sharp tune.

She waits, she waits.

It will all end soon.

Life's A Puzzle with A Missing Piece

      Okay, so today I decided not to post a story, but rather kind of an update on what's up in my life. I'm pretty sure Jacob is the only one who reads my blog....but whatever. I'll send this post out into the endless void that is the internet anyway.
     Everything right now is really confusing and complicated. Well, not everything, but a lot of stuff. But it's mainly kind of social stuff and school related. There's a bit of family stuff, but that's not really relevant. So I guess this is my first rant about what's up in my life. I hope this doesn't bore you too much.
     Anyway, right now, things between Noah and I have been kind of tense(ish). Things have been kind of seem to be up and down for us right now. It's not like we're fighting or anything like that, but we don't seem to be talking as much anymore as we used to. We have talked a couple of times about some of our "problems," and that went pretty well I suppose. But that talk doesn't seem to have change much of anything. During our frees and stuff, I mainly talk to Jacob and Mathieu, granted Mathieu isn't absorbed in the world of Minecraft. Noah seems to be more interested in other things at the moment, which I completely understand. I don't want to be that girl that wants to constantly be her boyfriend's top priority. I know that I can't be a top priority, because that's not fair to Noah. He has other things that he needs to concentrate on like school work, his music, and his other friends. I completely understand that because I have things I have to do too. But right now it seems like unless we're alone, he acts more like a good friend, except for the occasional kiss on the head at the end of the day. Again, I don't want to be that girl that wants all of her boyfriend's attention. But as of now, I feel like I'm barely getting any. So is it really wrong to want a little bit?
     Right now, I feel like of stuck. I kind of feel like this relationship is living moment to moment. Like most of the time, we act like just friends and then there is that one occasional/special time (when we're alone) that we act like a couple. I don't know what exactly I want, but I wish something would change. But I don't think it will. If there is a change, I doubt the effects will last very long. I feel bad bothering various people with this, so this is the last rant about this for a while. Anyway, that's just how I'm feeling right now about my relationship and bugging people. I've probably bored you to tears by now, talking about my life. Sorry about that. You can now go back to your non-complicated lives. Enjoy them!


Part 2 will be posted at some point

Kitchen Skies

Small feet skid and slide across the gritty wooden floor. The grumbling of stomachs echoes throughout the house. The small group struggles to fit through the large wooden doorframe. Finally after some squeaks and pushes are exchanged, they are all in the large L-shaped kitchen. A marathon starts. Who can get across the dull tiles first? Then they are off. Someone slips, a skirt is ripped. But it doesn't matter, because now, the yellowing door of the refrigerator looms above them. They take their turn jumping and climbing, trying to grasp the handle that was at least 10 feet above them. Finally, they reach it. Light fills the room, and the smell of stew and day-old cake follows it. Hands reach forward, grabbing whatever they can. Skirts are filled, arms and hands are full of the delicious treasure. But there is something missing. Only one girl knows. She looks straight up at the monstrous box and spots what she is missing from her stash. A light blue jar labeled "Sweets" sits atop the small wooden shelf. It is mission impossible, but she goes for it. She runs out of the room, ignoring the crunching sounds coming from behind her. When she returns, a chair is dragged behind her. It is placed below the marble counter, and then ruby-red slippers step on the seat. Her arm reaches out for the little piece of glass colored sky. Her fingers touch the smooth surface of the jar, then she is looking up at the ceiling. A numb pain radiates from the back of her head. A small trickle of warm liquid follows the blow. Her hands are still reaching out. They are empty. Just like her rumbling stomach.

Changing the Subject....

Since I haven't been posting anything about my life, I decided to change what I post about on here. I will now be posting various stories and other creative writing stuff that I create. (granted I actually like what I write). So yeah, keep an eye out for various stories. Constructive criticism and comments would be nice. Enjoy!

So I've been sick for the past few days with a cold. I hate colds, but then again, who doesn't?
Anyway, I lost my voice for a good majority of yesterday thanks to a sore throat, and on top of that I was so congested that I had a terrible headache. It was terrible. Luckily I skyped with my friend Alex for most of the day and then skyped with Jacob at around midnight.

Jacob and I had some pretty interesting conversations....  The conversations included us quizzing each other on various capitals of countries and states.

Although neither of us got many of capitals for the countries right, we got some of the capitals for the states right. I freaked Jacob out by getting all the state capitals correct. He said "is there Google in your brain?" I wish I had Google in my brain. That would be awesome because then I would never fail a test. *sigh* I wish that was possible... Speaking of tests, I have take FOUR tests this week (three makeup tests, and one Chemistry test). I don't know what to study for two out of the four. I'm screwed... I'll start studying eventually. But for now, I think I'll just stick to looking at cat pictures on Reddit.

just starting out

soo i'm not really sure what' i'm doing here.... i'm blogging, i know, but i'm not sure why. i guess i'll find the appeal to this at some point.

anyway

i guess this blog will be a mix of what's going on in life, random stuff, and i guess all the "classic" blogger stuff. hopefully y'all won't get bored with me or my blog. soo i guess that's all for now. more posts (probably more interesting ones) coming soon-ish!